http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=460

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I wrote the letter. Its one of the best things I've ever created.

Now to just find the courage. Thats the last half of all this.

Well, I am nearly finished with the first term of Organic Chemistry. It's been 15 days, and the final is on Monday. Unbelievable. Plus, I've actually filled an entire notebook and a half with lecture notes. As I stare at it, preparing for the final, I am blown away by what I've managed to cram into my head in the last three weeks.

Not to say that it's not incredibly cool.

Because it is.

And, oddly enough, although chemistry does no more to explain Life The Universe And Everything than physics does, I adore it and feel nothing but hatred for physics. Maybe I'm just a soft scientist. Maybe the professors have something to do with it. After all, my other favorite class so far was calculus, and I didn't see THAT coming.

And, if I seem like I've fallen from the face of the earth, we have chemistry to blame, not physics (Ha! Get it?), since I am finally learning what it is not to have enough hours in the day.

But, Dave takes good care of me and I sure am eating well. We grilled halibut outside last night. Can't beat that!

http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=459

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http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=458

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so out of nowhere i came down with a pretty bad case of strep throat. fever, aching body, never ending headache, tonsils too swollen to swallow (one night it was even hard to breathe), the whole shebang. when i went to the immediate care center down the street from my parents, the doctor took one look in my mouth and said if the culture didn't come back positive it was wrong. i had white spots all over the back of my throat and my glands were protruding out of my neck. so now i'm on antibiotics and while feeling nowhere near as horrible as i did on sunday, i still feel pretty crappy.

i haven't been this wiped out in awhile. what sucks is that this is one of those weeks that i really should be at work, but there's nothing i can do. i'm contagious so i'm quarantined at my parents' house. even if i go back into work tomorrow, there's a 70% chance that i will be too weak to do much of anything and will probably have to go home early. if i still feel gross by friday i have to go back to the doctors.

my immune system is pretty decent (except for those stupid sinus infections). i don't get sick very often, but when i do it totally whams me. i haven't had strep since middle school, and i think that was the first time i caught it. sinus infections i can deal with, but strep throat i cannot. it makes me wonder what would happen if an uber plague came. would i be able to last through it (as with most things) or would i be one of the people who got hit hard by it?

in any case, i've been in my bed reading web comics and watching mst3k for the past couple of days while prudence has been keeping watch over me. i'm not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow.

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http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=456

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I am compelled by an insanity, a fearful impossibility, that these physics are not the whole story.

I am compelled by the whisper that we are not just resource-feeders, that tomorrow's leaders are not just history's butchers with better smiles and better PR guys.

I must accept the responsibility, the challenge, that our evolution is not just to bow to the superior machines, or our upcoming modified eugenic patriarchs.

Our genes can grow to a new divinity. Will it be a mental divinity? Or something entirely different, something entirely new to comprehension?

"Only in the triumph of principles will you find satisfaction."

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